“Now he can’t hurt me any more.”
Those were the words I heard myself say to my older brother as we stood beside the orange tree in Mom and Dad’s backyard in Tucson, AZ, just two days after Dad had died. I was 55 years old.
Looking back now, I am as surprised at what I said as you might be reading such a statement. The truth has a way of making its way out of us. And sometimes – if we’ve buried it long enough – it comes out at the oddest times. My father was 48 hours dead. And this is how I expressed my feelings?
Don’t misunderstand. I loved my father. He was a good man with much to his credit. We had not had any massive blowout or tragic division through the years.
But he had hurt me. And . . . I guess that even as a grown man, in my 50s, I still felt the fear and hurt I had received many years before.
Kevin Myers once said, “If you want to get to a man’s heart, ask him about his relationship with his father.”
How true that is!
I never sensed it as keenly as I did in a two day seminar I attended in April 2001.
Ken Canfield (The National Center for Fathering, http://www.fathers.com/tag/ken-canfield/) was presenting a seminar on fathers and sons, and my wife encouraged me to go. It was phenomenal. I learned lessons I will never forget. See his book, The Heart of a Father, 1996.
Your relationship with your father will set the course for your life. It is imperative that you find healing in the father-son relationship.
Are you ready to walk down this road?
You will be forever glad you did.