I have several friends looking for work these days. It just isn’t easy, is it?
Oh, for some it seems to be easy, I suppose. One of my neighbors lost his job a couple of years ago, diligently applied himself in an internet search for new employment, reconnected his “network” and WHAM! He was employed in a very nice job (although he has a very long commute) in a few weeks.
But for the rest of us . . . .
And it hurts so much, doesn’t it?
Joblessness brings out all the skeletons: self-esteem issues, anger issues, resentment issues, envy, (did I mention anger?), frustration, control issues, marital issues, (did I mention anger yet?), etc.
Employment problems can illuminate the fact that most (if not all) of us are more human-doings than we are human-beings (to borrow a term from 12 Steps). We identify ourselves with our work, and others tend to support that point of view as well.
I want to learn how to take the hurt away.
I want to learn how to value myself (and others) in a way that does not tie my value to my occupation. For that is a very tenuous connection, indeed.
It is difficult for us to separate our value as a person from the power we wield over others. And yet, it is imperative that we do so if we are to maintain a healthy sense of self. In addition, if I learn to value others apart from their abilities and skills I will contribute to a healthy sense of self in them, too.
But then . . . all this “feel good about myself and others” jazz doesn’t put food on the table, or pay the bills, or evade the creditors.
But don’t let that truth blur the reality for you: you must give priority to what is most necessary, then deal with the urgent after that.
Reverse the order, and you will enter a mirage. And as you know . . . when you “arrive” at your destination, there will be no water there to drink.