So, you’ve decided to acknowledge that you may have a problem with anger! That’s good news.
Anger has been described as a “trapeze” emotion (see Ed Young, Fatal Distractions, 2000). And like a trapeze artist, one can swing from one emotional platform to another with anger (that’s the beauty of it); underneath, however, it is often a cover for fear . . . . Fear, is what I like to call “the real F-word.” Its effects run far deeper than the epithet used in such an off-handed way these days.
To deal with our anger, we must be willing to look deeper than what is on the surface. Because the trouble with a “trapeze” emotion is that it is never what it appears to be. And sometimes . . . there is no “net” below the trapeze artist. So when he or she falls, he or she falls hard.
How to get freedom from anger:
- Admit to yourself that you have an allergy to anger (i.e. it makes you swell up); it controls you and seems to have a life of its own.
- Tell this self-truth to a trusted friend(s).
- Start a journal (or if that word bothers you, call it a notebook or something), and begin to record your feelings of anger each day: when they occur, why they occur, and how they make you feel.
- The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships, by Harriet Lerner http://www.amazon.com/The-Dance-Anger-Changing-Relationships/dp/006074104X
- “Angry,” a short film by Phil Stevens (Marriage Pressure Points)